WHEN LOVE FAILS

When all is set and done

And all that is loved is finished

The pain of loving and not getting its measure back

When the feeling of anxiety drops in, and you are filled with the feeling of inadequacy.

This has not been what I thought it would be, not one filled with pain.

Not one where you can’t fully express what you feel

I remember when we used to talk happily, a chat that lasts for hours

I remember those times we love to spend endless hours in each other’s company till the hours of midnight, when we never seem to get tired of playing on the streets.

I remember when we used to care for one another in times of crisis.

What changed now, that we do not love as we used to.

What happened to the lovely laughter we share on the streets as we walk each other back and forth home?

What happened to the care and the chasing on the busy streets, not bothered by the coming vehicles or the people who keep staring and wondering whose children we were?

What happened to all the beautiful memories we shared?

Does it mean what we were told that we soon will grow out of all these, true?

Does this mean we would no more be the children within us?

I have been stricken with anxiety and fear as I don’t have you anymore with me.

Though you always say what we were told were never true, how come our behavior tell a different story?

I am now afraid to grow as I miss the child in me, which continues to cry out;

I want to love freely as I used to.

I want to laugh freely as I used to, and play I used to.

I want to be that child, who is not bothered by the cares of this crude world again.

And I want to share that love with you.

A love that has no boundaries

A love not bothered by who is watching, but just want to spend every beautiful moment with you.

But something keeps holding me back, because I am now afraid to love.

Filled with the fear of being failed again

For when love fails, there is nothing left to hold unto.

Anita Enyonam Sossoe

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